Solid friendships provide a social connection that is critical to our health and wellbeing. However, nurturing these relationships does require time and effort from both parties.
Are we really that busy? Yes, no, okay maybe??
I too am guilty of this. As a matter of fact, this was recently brought to my attention, so I decided to take a closer look and research why this happens, especially as we get older.
I don’t think that is it just that we are too busy, although we may tell ourselves this. Studies have shown we’re not taking the time for friends like we used to. According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three friends they were close to. Thirty years later, the same study came out with some chilling news. As many as one in four people claim to have no friends at all.
I think it is less about busyness and more about being intentional by creating priorities around friendships and setting boundaries to protect them.
Why Don’t We Prioritize Adult Friendships?
Could it be we’ve somehow gotten the idea they’re really not necessary? This is absolutely not the case. In fact, below, you will find five reasons why adult friends are crucial to your life and your good health.
Perhaps, you forgot how to make friends as you’ve gotten older and the pressures and responsibilities of life became overwhelming. Finding time to nurture friendships became one more chore to add to the ever-growing to-do list. If that’s the case, I got you. I’ve included some cool tips below to help you make some new friends.
Maybe you’re lost when you try to figure out where you could meet some potential friends that share some of your interests and values. Don’t fret, I got you covered below on that too.
But first, let’s dive deep into some of the reasons why adult friendships are so important. If you’re a wellness nerd like myself, you’re going to love number five.
6 Reasons Why Adult Friendships are so Important
- Friends Give Necessary Support
Life is long and has many highs and lows. We’re not meant to go it alone. We need solid friends that we can trust to act as everything from our personal cheer squad to a sturdy shoulder to cry on. We especially need friends through the hard times. If we are humble and trusting enough to share our struggles, we can gain great strength and victory not only from their advice but from their presence.
- Friends Can Model Positive Behavior
How do you conduct yourself in unfamiliar places? If you’re socially awkward, it might be because you never learned specific social skills that are critical to success. Friends can help you learn those skills. Friends provide a safe place where there is no judgment and you can practice. Friends can help us get out of the ruts we fall into and challenge us to try new social situations we might not otherwise consider. In other words, a good friend can help broaden your horizons.
- Friends Give Us a Reality Check
“True friends stab you in the front.” Oscar Wilde
When you insist on living within the confines of your own narrow mind, you can lose your sense of reality. A true friend will tell you when you’re lying to yourself or wandering down the wrong path entirely? This kind of tough love is what keeps us from disaster and guides us away from the pitfalls of life. Smart people love the truth. No one person has all the answers. If your ego is telling you this, don’t believe it. You need true friends.
- Friendships Make Us Feel Loved and Accepted
As I said, life is long and it has many ups and downs built-in. One thing is for sure, in the midst of all of life’s changes and seasons, we all have a deep “need” to feel loved and accepted through it all. Sometimes we can even get our feelings for love and intimacy confused. According to the infamous Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs, love, and belonging is level three, right after physiological and safety needs. That is just how important the need for love and acceptance is for our total wellbeing.
- Friendships are Critical for Your Health and Longevity
Friendships can lower stress, especially in women. When women feel close to someone, progesterone (a hormone that reduces stress and anxiety in women) levels increase.
Studies have shown people who sustain healthy friendships live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. The study showed that people who regularly spend time with friends and have strong social ties have a 50 percent more chance of living longer than those who don’t. This population has been shown to adopt healthier lifestyles, experience fewer physical ailments such as heart disease, and have fewer issues with dementia as they age.
- Friendships Can Help You Get a Bigger Bag, Ladies
Do you want to boost your career, get some girlfriends? According to a recent study, women who have a few close girlfriends or have female-dominated inner circles, are more likely to get higher ranking leadership positions at work.
6 Tips for Making Friends as an Adult
It may take less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:
- Start with the Old
Instead of completely reinventing the wheel, think about your old friends. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?
- Become a better listener
Instead of striving to be the life of the party, why not take a step back and observe? Actively listening makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a good listener) and puts you in the position of discovering hidden gems in others. It’s a clever way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.
- Take it to the Next Level
Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship and can take it to the next level.
- Stay in Touch
If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with your friend once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a time to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.
- Make a Group
Create a group of friends and get more bang for your buck. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or group get-together.
15 Easy Places to Find New Friends as an Adult
The lost art of talking to strangers is the skill you need to develop while seeking new friends.
A few ground rules to get you started:
- Lose your fear of rejection
- Drop all expectations and judgments
- Don’t take anything personally or permanently
- Be yourself, ah..because you are AMAZING
- Be kind
- Smile a little
- Have fun
- Don’t be creepy
- When all else fails, start by talking about the weather
Now, here are some places you can go. Oh, and keep in my mind that some of the people who visit these places are actually looking for friends too. 🙂
- A dog park
- The gym
- A meetup group featuring something you’re interred in
- An in-person class (learn something new)
- A book club meeting
- Hiking or walking in a local park
- Yoga or Pilates class
- Your workplace
- A coffee shop
- A Mastermind group
- Church or Faith Community
- An Online class or course
- A work event
- A museum
- A conference
Meeting people doesn’t have to be complicated. Opportunities truly are everywhere. So be bold and try something new. You’ll be glad you did!
Adult friendships are an important part of your life and worth the time and effort to explore. Now is not the time to hold back. Get out there, meet some people, and discover all that life has to offer. Making time for friendships should be a priority for all adults. It can also be a lot of fun!
Be well + prosper,
Elaine
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