Have you ever heard of the term “SAFE people” as it relates to relationships?
Maybe you’re more familiar with the term “UNSAFE people”. UNSAFE people are those relationships in your life that which you have invested a great amount of time and tears. These are people who may have taken advantage of your time and time again and then suddenly abandoned you after you they sucked the life out of you.
When we have a history of unsafe relationships in our lives, we usually do one of two things: Either we lose our sense of value and self-worth or we close the door of our heart and throw away the key never again allowing the possibility of true friendship. Either way, you lose out. There is a more excellent way. You can heal and find true lasting friendships once you begin to learn what traits to look for and which ones to avoid. That’s right, you can rise from the ashes of being burned to truly trust again.
There are many traits of SAFE people, today, we are going to identify just 10 of the key traits of SAFE people and why we need to surround ourselves with the right type of relationships to succeed in life.
10 Key Features of SAFE people
- SAFE people are good (maybe not great) listeners: Listening is a skill set that is often overlooked. As a result, the average person does not invest the time to develop it. A safe person may not be an expert listener, but they are a good listener. They value you as a person, so they are more eager to hear you than they are to talk over you when you need a friend. They recognize that understanding your problem is more important than their unsolicited advice.
- SAFE people embody the Principles of Love Acceptance and Forgiveness: SAFE people love you for who YOU are (not who they want you to be), accept everything about you (faults included, without judgement), forgive you whenever necessary (without keeping a laundry list of offenses).
- SAFE people do not compete with you. They are not so competitive that you see everyone as an opponent. This type of competition is deeply rooted in insecurity and a lack of self confidence. Highly competitive people don’t have friends, they have fans. A SAFE person is deeply secure within themselves and therefore, they are free to honor, support and celebrate your gifts rather than covet and despise you for them.
- SAFE people are open-minded. They realize that they don’t- know-it-all. So instead of being quick to pass judgement they are willing to give you the time and space to hear your point of view. They are approachable and interesting. You actually enjoy running ideas pass them because you know deep inside that they haven’t shut you down in their mind or worse put you in some “category” that makes them feel comfortable. They are open and even willing to reconsider their position based your ideas.
- SAFE people are accountable for their actions. They are not quick to shift the blame to others. They are willing to acknowledge and admit where they may have gone wrong. They take full responsibility for their life without playing the victim.
- SAFE people don’t monopolize your time and space. Safe people are secure and happy with themselves. They also have other SAFE relationships that they are actively involved in with other SAFE people. Therefore, they don’t find it necessary to smother you and suck the life out of you as though you’re the only breathing person in the world. They are very balanced in this area.
- SAFE people recognize and respect your boundaries. As a thriving adult, you should have healthy boundaries in your life. SAFE people know you and are sensitive to your boundaries. They don’t disrespect you by bullying their way across your boundary lines.
- SAFE people have integrity. Integrity simply means “being one”. SAFE people are congruent, meaning, they are at harmony and in agreement with themselves. They don’t say one thing and do another. Their words and actions are consistent. They are typically the same with all people. In other words, they don’t change who they are to suit different groups of people. Usually they can be defined by, “what you see is what you get”. They tell the truth in love. They are not perfect, but they do have integrity. Because of this one specific trait, they are very easy to get to know, love and admire.
- SAFE people see relationships as mutually beneficial. In other words, they see their friends as equals, not as though they are the authority figure in the relationship. They don’t approach their friendships as though they are looking downward, even in their mentoring friendships. They remain teachable and can learn from you as well.
- SAFE people are positive and committed to self development. They realize that all of life is a journey. They embark on that journey with an optimistic attitude all the while growing themselves and endeavoring to maximize their potential and yours. 🙂
As you can see SAFE people exhibit some amazing qualities. Qualities you should embrace as well as look for in others. We need to become masterful in choosing our closest relationships. Learn how to evaluate someone’s actual character, not just chose relationships because we are enamored with someone’s talent, appearance, or social status. Although we can’t choose every relationship in our lives, for example, a co-worker, a boss, or even a family member we do have the power to at least chose SAFE people to make up our inner circle of friends.
We refer to these relationships as SAFE because these are people that make us feel safe and secure. As we endeavor to curate our lives we need a sense of safety and stability. We need a support system that can help us go further faster.
We need SAFE people.
P.S. Pssst….We are building a community of like-minded women who are endeavoring to provide SAFEty for YOU. Come check us out and grab your gift!