Letting go of the past is one of the hardest things you can ever do. That is why so many struggle with it. One primary reason centers around fear of the unknown. As human beings, we feel uncomfortable with uncertainty. We would much rather stay in our comfort zone of despair than launch into the uncertain deep of letting it go and finally making peace with ourselves.
Many have experienced pain, sadness, or anger when they’ve lost something important: a personal relationship, loss of a job, memories from a difficult childhood, someone offending us, or a mistake that we made. It is an emotion that is common to man.
Painful reminders from the past can be persistent, making us tense and uncertain and draining our energy.
We cannot change the past but we can let go and move forward. Letting go of the past is challenging but not impossible.
Why Should I Let Go?
The most apparent reason to let go of the past is that you can’t go back and change it to prevent the painful event or have a different outcome – the past is over. Also, your past is not necessarily who you are today. Your past consists of experiences that are only fragments of who you were, not your whole identity.
Look at disturbing past events as lessons learned to improve your personal growth and future success. Is there anything you could have done differently or anything you could have done to prevent it? Explore how you reacted to the event; would you behave the same in the present?
From a wellness perspective, holding onto the past can result in depression or, in the case of traumatic events, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When you don’t let go of the hurt, you may find it challenging to function in the present, suppressing you from moving forward.
Ways to Let Go
The following strategies will help you to stop dwelling on past incidents and boost your ability to move forward.
Deliberately Put the Past Behind You.
The first step is to consciously decide that you’re going to commit to letting go of the past events, circumstances, or people that are holding you back—period!
Get a Clear Sense of Purpose
Nothing can redirect your thoughts and actions like a clear sense of purpose. Once you shift your focus from “Who did you wrong?” to “What is my purpose?” your entire life can change. You go from victim to hero of your own story. You go from boredom to stardom! Those days of mindless scrolling become opportunities to push the needle forward on your personal goals and aspirations.
Give Grace
When you pardon or forgive someone for offending you, the burden of anger and resentment is lifted. That does not mean you must continue a relationship with the other person or allow them to mistreat you.
It means you can accept the situation and emotions and pardon the person for the offense. When you truly forgive, you will have a more positive outlook, a reduced risk of mental and physical illness, and a boost to your well-being. Ultimately, you will be more joyful!
Change Your Mindset – Live for Today
Mindfulness is a therapeutic technique for focusing on the present moment rather than the past. Acknowledge and accept your emotions, sensations, and thoughts in the current moment. Remember that the past is only a memory, and the present and future ahead of you are more critical. Set your mind on present events and the promise of a better future.
Practice Healthy Rituals
Eating right, exercising, and getting sufficient sleep are essential for good health. When your health is good, you can cope better, increase positivity, and elevate your growth mindset. For example, a healthy daily ritual might include:
- A healthy breakfast.
- Taking a brisk walk.
- Practicing meditation at bedtime.
- Going to bed and waking up at the same time daily.
- Getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep consistently
Realize You Are Not Alone
Feelings about the past are normal—we have all had the same or similar situations and emotions. Share with people you trust; they may have similar experiences.
Seek Professional Help
If you are having a tough time letting go of a particular event, season of life, or unhealthy relationship, you need to consider getting professional help. Are constantly ruminating about past events or people? Is it causing feelings of anxiety and depression? In that case, consider the help of a qualified professional who can help you get unstuck, heal, and move on to greener pastures. There is no need to feel ashamed, weak, or embarrassed. We are all wired differently; therefore, different life events hit differently for other people. Prioritize your mental health.
Final Thoughts
Holding onto adverse past events can harm our mental and physical health and our future. We cannot change the past, but we can practice techniques that will help us to let go. While it will take time, it is well worth the effort to build a better future by letting go of the painful past.
As a bonus, you will be an inspiration to others. Have you ever met someone who you know personally has been through a painful life event that somehow manages to radiate joy? It is both mind boggling and glorious. When you chose to let go of your painful past, it will give others the courage to move on as well, knowing that it is possible to recover and rejoice!
You got this!
Be well + prosper,
Elaine xx
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