Giving away one’s personal power is so common that it oftentimes flies under the radar. It is such a passive people-pleasing habit that you or someone close to you may have developed over the years without fully realizing it.
I know it feels good to give, but that’s never true for your personal power. That is yours and yours alone, and whether you know it or not, you may be giving it up every day without fully realizing it.
In this article, we are going to discuss 7 common ways you may be giving away your personal power and how to stop it.
7 Ways Personal Power is Lost and How to Get it Back:
- Stop Being Passive
Routinely going through life without a plan, purpose, priorities, or even core values is a recipe for disaster that will weaken your resolve. When you become overly passive, life will run you over like a freight truck. You will wake up one day (hopefully), not knowing who you are or how you got where you are. This type of mental attitude will cause people to run roughshod over you. Allowing people to treat you like a doormat will drain your energy.
Have enough personal power to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, people will keep abusing you and leave you empty.
2. Start Saying NO to Emotional Labor
Emotion labor means many things to many people, but in a nutshell, it is when you suppress your emotions so someone else can feel better. It may mean keeping a superficial fake smile on your face to disarm those around you. I sometimes jokingly refer to it as the “Stepin Fetchit” syndrome.
All jokes aside, emotional labor will drain the life out of you. Of course, there are times that you might have to appear pleasant in a professional environment, but don’t overdo it. Unknowingly this behavior can become a habit that will cause you to be fake with everybody. If you are constantly practicing emotional labor in every situation you find yourself in, you are giving your power away.
3. Stop Giving Your Inner Criticic Mind Space
Negative self-talk can be deadly especially if you are unaware of what you’re doing. The voice of the inner critic is so deadly because it is a familiar voice that you’ve become accustomed to. It is a sabotaging, degrading, and self-punishing voice that is subconsciously sending messages to you that will cause you to make bad decisions that lead to failure in the long run. The scariest part of this scenario is that this voice in your head presents itself as a friend when really it is an enemy that is taking away your power daily.
Start to identify and be aware of this voice because that’s the critic that will drain you the most. If you find this becoming problematic, reinforcing affirmations are the weapon to use to halt it.
4. Stop Tolerating Manipulation
Many “well-meaning” people are masters at manipulation. These manipulators will keep on taking your power if you let them. Beware and don’t give in to their guilt trips. These people are masters at knowing your soft spots. Even “well meaning” family and friends will use this sentiment against you when trying to get what they want. If you really don’t want to do something, stand your ground. They will get the message sooner or later and move onto someone else who actually cares what they think.
You have the personal power to decide to get away from that situation or the person. Establish healthy boundaries and use your voice to speak up for yourself. You’re no longer 4 years old, as an adult, you have the right to make your own decisions.
Believe it or not, you train people “how to treat you” by what you let them get away with.
5. Stop Playing the Victim
Constantly playing the victim will drain the life out of you faster than you can imagine. Why, because this one is cloaked in self-righteousness. It steals your personal power by allowing you to feel sorry for yourself. After all, it’s everyone else’s fault that you are where you are, doing what you are doing. Accepting responsibility for your life is hard work. It’s actually adult work. It’s so much easier to play the victim, that way you don’t have to look into the mirror of your soul.
The fastest way to recover from this nasty habit is to change your language. Think before you speak. Instead of saying: “I’m just doing what I gotta do.” Say, “I’m doing what I choose to do.” The first statement is disempowering, while the second is empowering and it’s the truth. The trick here is to acknowledge the fact that you do have a choice!
BONUS: Focusing on Heartless Goals
This one needs some careful life planning to make sure you don’t fall victim to it because it is a massive barrier to attaining personal power.
An abundant life is much more than just your career. Life goals are about helping you reach your dream life. It’s not just about what work will make you rich so you can buy material things to satisfy your ego and show the world how awesome you are. (Trying to prove your value to others and focusing what others think about you are 2 more personal power drains.)
Instead, focus on lifestyle goals that include family, relationships, personal development, finance, health, career, relaxation, hobbies, and inner peace. Otherwise, you might continue working monotonous jobs, keep giving personal power away to unsatisfying relationships, and waste money trying to fill a void.
Bottom line: There are many ways to give away your personal power. The purpose of this article is to bring attention to habits that may be making you feel less powerful than you really are. I want to encourage you to be mentally strong enough to make a stand and take your personal power back, starting today!
As always,
Be well + prosper,
Elaine xx