In today’s post, I want to discuss a strategy that will help you to improve your body image. That strategy is: Stop comparing yourself to others. That’s right, simple but powerful and perhaps overlooked. We are on this journey to become a better version of ourselves and no one else. Yet, we are constantly bombarded with thousands of images daily, that cause us to question and in some cases resent our own precious body.
Real talk: We are all guilty to some degree of this behavior. These subconscious and conscious thoughts of comparison are holding us back in more ways the just one. Before we examine some strategies to counteract this self sabotaging behavior, let’s first lay the groundwork as to why this comparison trap is so deceitful and deadly.
The Pitfalls of Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s natural to compare yourself to others. Humans naturally look around them for acceptance and guidance. If you didn’t compare yourself to others, you might not know how to behave or what to aspire to. For example, children model the behavior that they see in the adults in their life and in their peers. Role models give us an example of what we want for our lives. Yet comparing yourself too much to others can cause major self esteem problems.
There Are Always People Who Are Better Than You
My kids grew up hearing this from me. As I would constantly speak words to encourage them in their own uniqueness, I also let them know that it’s useless spending time worrying about others. Instead competing, I always encouraged them to collaborate. Unless you’re playing competitive sports, comparing and competing with the physical appearance of someone next to you is like eating the dirt of the earth. We are called to a much higher standard, so instead I encouraged them to reach for the stars.
5 Powerful ways to Stop Comparing Yourself and Improve Your Body Image
- Become Aware: We live in a society where comparison is completely normalized, excepted and promoted. We are surrounded by ideas and images of what and what is not socially, visually, culturally (etc.) acceptable, tolerable and even applauded. As parents, we sometimes compare our children to one another or even to ourselves. This behavior many times is on autopilot and deeply ingrained in nature and our subconscious. To rise above it, we must first recognized that it’s happening. To break this cycle, we must catch these thoughts in mid air and refuse to entertain them. Instead, try to reframe the thought with a positive focus. It might seem difficult at first, but as time goes on you’ll get really good at it.
- Let go of perfectionism: Let me help you: Ain’t nobody perfect! The more living you do, the more you realize this universal truth. We are out here trying become a better version of ourselves. That better version absolutely does not include perfectionism. Do yourself (and everyone else) a huge favor…Let go of your impossible standards.
- Lift Your Sister Up: One of the oldest tricks in the book (and it still doesn’t work) is to tear someone down so you can look better, smarter, prettier, thinner, etc! This destructive behavior is born out of insecurity and comparison. When you make a habit out of comparing and competing, you will struggle having true friends. You see other women as a rival or fan, but never a friend. Instead of being competitive and critical of another, find someone positive about them: this way you may gain a friend, not an enemy.
- Curate your Social Media Experience: Always remember, that you really are the boss of you. Take charge of your social media experience, by picking and choosing what to look at and when. You don’t have to mindless scroll through news feeds like a robot. Social media can be a blessing or a curse. Learn to partake of it wisely. If after scrolling through your Instagram feed for 5 hours you start to feel sick on your stomach. Come up with a better plan.
- Connect to a Positive Supportive Community: Take notice of who you are surrounded by. Do these people encourage you in your own skin? Has your body image improved by being around them? May be, just maybe you need more. Find a community where you are surrounded by positive women who are on a journey and have or are developing a positive (not prideful), healthy body image. When you Immerse yourself in an environment where there is whole lot less judging going on, you will find yourself being a lot less judgmental of yourself and of others.
It’s an undeniable fact that there are people who are smarter, more artistic, wealthier, and in better shape than you. Conversely, there are people who pale in comparison to you. However, if you get into the habit of constantly comparing yourself to others, the natural tendency is to focus on those who are better than us. This leaves you feeling bad about yourself. This can also cause you to stop moving forward as you should.
Stop comparing. Who cares about the people that are better or worse than you? It has absolutely no impact on who you are, what you look like, and what you’re capable of.
Resentment Sets In
If you’re in the habit of comparing yourself to others, and feeling badly about the comparison, it’s a common tendency to resent the person you’re comparing yourself to. That’s unfair to them and it’s not a positive mindset for you. Living in a world of negative body image, resentment, and jealousy can consume you. It can eat away at your relationships, your personal success, and your satisfaction with yourself and your life. It can literally lead to misery.
Instead of resenting people that you compare yourself to, try appreciating their strengths and assets. If you see a person, for example, that has a body that you wish you had, try saying “good for her or him”.
It Doesn’t Get You Anywhere
Nothing is accomplished when you compare yourself to others on a regular basis. It doesn’t help you. You don’t suddenly have the nose you always wanted and you don’t lose weight by comparing yourself. It sets you up not only for a negative view of your body but also for a lifetime of unhappiness. It’s unproductive.
However, when you take a look at what you like about your body and you start taking steps to appreciate your body, that is productive and positive. For example, buy a piece of clothing that flatters you. Get a massage or take a yoga class. Start eating more vegetables and drinking fewer sugary drinks. When you stop comparing yourself to others and begin to take action to take better care of yourself, your body image improves and you begin to live a more positive and productive life.
You no longer have to feel drained, unhappy or insecure about your body image. As you know those negative emotions, can block your creativity and stop you from offering your best self to this world. Make the difficult decision, today get off the hamster wheel by refusing to compare your body image to others, once and for all. After all, the world needs that special gift, that is YOU.
All the best,
Elaine