Are you struggling to take care of yourself?
Are you aware of your level of self-care?
Do you have a plan to protect yourself from burnout, depression, or compassion fatigue?
Do you take good care of yourself?
Of course, you do, or at least you think you do. However, you may not realize that your level of care could be sub-optimal; in many cases, it may even be regarded as neglect. Yes, overwhelming circumstances and responsibilities may force you to spend less time on yourself than you would like, and there are usually dozens of legitimate reasons.
But bulletproofing your life through self-care practices will help you deal with life’s challenges and responsibilities in a healthier way.
However, before you can make a conscious effort to improve your level of self-care, you need to realize where the deficiencies are. Be bold and ask yourself some tough questions to see if you are putting yourself at risk because your level of self-care is inadequate. The more responsibilities you have, the more self-care you may need.
If you find yourself doing any of the following things, adequate self-care may be eluding you unawares:
You Are Selfless
Do you permit yourself to put yourself first? Do you feel guilty when you think about this?
If you find yourself putting the needs of every single person ahead of your own, you are exhibiting a classic sign of self-neglect. By prioritizing the needs of everybody except your own, you can start to feel burnt out. You can resent doing “all the things” as you perpetuate this behavior.
Nobody likes a self-centered, selfish hog. But let’s get real; you have to put yourself first sometimes. Nurturing yourself builds strength, resolve, and the motivation to help others. If you don’t start here, you run the risk of burning out and ending up resenting those that you hold so dear.
Your Appearance Is Subpar
If you feel guilty for gussying up yourself, again, self-care may be eluding you. You have the right to spend time on yourself. That might mean indulging in an hour-long bubble bath, moisturizing your hair, or doing weekly pedicures. If it’s a necessary part of your overall care, do it.
How do you dress your body? Are you always running around, doing your errands, “torn up from the floor up”? Do you blow it off as unimportant because “you have so much to do (for others)” that you can’t comb your hair and wear some decent jeans? Listen, the reason why I can talk about this is that this was me for literal years!! I would do the bare minimum to look decent as I rolled all over town, usually with my kids in tow. You don’t have to overdo it with a full face of makeup and heels to go to Target. But ask yourself: Do I do this? You might think that you’re too busy to care, but at the end of the day, it’s neglect.
You Don’t Have Friends
Not having a small circle of closely-knit friends is another prominent symptom of poor self-care. Good friends are there through the good times and the bad and can be invaluable to your well-being. Being isolated is a form of poor self-care, no matter how many excuses you give yourself. “I’m too busy for friends.” “Women are too petty:…blah blah blah. Meeting a friend for coffee, lunch, or an after-work workout is refreshing. Don’t cheat yourself; wake up and realize you are missing out on some valuable “me” time away from your immediate family.
You Feel Unfulfilled
You may be grown and have a home and money in the bank, but you still feel that you have achieved nothing or not enough. This could result from personal unfulfillment because perhaps you never got the chance to finish your college education or pursue a passion, or you may not find your career rewarding. But it pays the bills. That’s awesome, but what about you?
Well, guess what- there is no better time than now to get up and go after whatever it is that would fulfill you. What needs to be kept in mind is that no other person can achieve this for you, so go on and get it.
You Don’t Exercise
This is one of the more severe symptoms of poor self-care, as it directly affects your well-being on an emotional and physical level. Lack of exercise boosts the likelihood of adverse health effects developing, reduces the quality of life, and can harm your appearance.
Exercise performed three times weekly can help you maintain a healthy body weight and body composition and is one of the best things you can give yourself for many reasons.
You Feel Life Is A Chore
The final symptom that sums up your disdain for yourself is your lack of or fake joy. Living brings you no absolute pleasure; you’re just going through life without truly finding joy in the day-to-day moments.
You don’t stop to take in the views on your way to work; you don’t experience joy from little things your kids or grandkids may do. You only look forward to going to bed. Feeling as if life has no real purpose for you can make you sad and kick start a cycle of negativity and spiral into depression.
Suppose this article hits you like a ton of bricks. Now is the time to assess your level of self-care and level up your strategy before it’s too late.
Though self-care should be second nature, many have de-trained these instinctual behaviors and replaced them with “politically correct” habits and a robotic pursuit of daily living.
Thinking about yourself does not make you self-centered; it makes you wise. When you first meet your needs and desires, it can only make you happier and more content. Those all around you will benefit from it as well!
Be well + prosper,
Elaine xx