There is most definitely a link between self sabotaging thoughts and personal happiness. Today we are going to discuss some very common self sabotaging thoughts that you may or may not have been engaging in over the years that might have gone undetected until now.
But first, let’s define what self sabotaging thoughts really are. According to Psychology Today,
Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in our life and interferes with long-standing goals.
When we have recurring self sabotaging thoughts that are ingrained in our nature, they almost become a part of who we are. Unless we become aware of these thought patterns and the damage that are causing throughout our lives, we can never break free to enjoy the happiness that’s available to us.
Who doesn’t go through times when you have trouble getting your thoughts to align with your? intentions. However, When this happens continually, it can hinder your happiness. It can get in the way of your happiness because these types of thoughts are uber focused on what’s wrong, or what’s missing, or the negativity of any given situation instead of the potential positives.
At the end of the day, self sabotaging thoughts can cause you to get stuck and not move forward achieving your goals, living the life that you desire and ultimately delaying real happiness and contentment.
Common Self Sabotaging Thoughts That Can Hinder Your Happiness:
I Don’t Like People – Many people, especially nowadays with the onslaught of social media, tend to focus their decisions on how many people will be around. They tend to make decisions that are not good for them because they are not comfortable being who they really are or how they look or how successful they are. Instead being so self focused you can simply begin to turn those thoughts around by showing up with a mindset of what you can offer to others. Focus on how you can give of yourself. It’s okay to be who you are. Life is not a competition, it’s collaboration. Once you begin to re frame your thoughts in this direction, you will not only help others but you will grow into the beautiful person that you really are.
I Am Too ____ — Anytime you start a thought with, I am “too” anything you are about to get into some serious head trouble. Nowadays most people are so self absorbed. Why waste time and energy worrying about things that no one else ever thinks about. For example, if you find yourself saying you’re too fat, too dumb, too old, too shy, too something — to accomplish a goal. Just stop it! Divert that negative mental energy into a step by step plan to get you closer to your goals. For example, if you think you’re too fat, try to focus and come up with a plan to slim down. If you think you’re too old, come up with a plan and take take steps towards wellness. You can’t change you physical age, but you can change your biological age by making healthier lifestyle choises. Are you begining to see how this works. Focus on what you can chage and learn how to accept what you can’t change. Start accepting yourself, that’s right, who you are today and who you becoming by implementing your step by step plan.
I’ll Do That When I ______ — You’ve probably said it before to yourself. “I’ll do that when I go back to school.” “I’ll do that when I clean the house.” “I’ll do that when I lose weight.” You know the drill. This is procrastination, plain and simple. Unless you need to do the thing in the blank, don’t allow that to get in your way. If you do need to do it, just make a step-by-step plan to get it done. Otherwise, keep moving forward. Refuse those self sabotaging thoughts to create a chain around your feet.
I Can’t Do _____ — This is one of the most popular self sabotaging thoughts that we all are too familiar with. What we might not have realized is the impact of constantly hearing yourself, say to yourself…”I can’t” might be doing to your level of happiness. You may have heard your child, or yourself, or someone else state that “I can’t do math.” Or “I can’t cook.” The truth is, no one can do any of that without learning how to do it. No one just pops out of the womb knowing how to cook, write, read, or do math. Anyone can learn whatever they want to learn given the time and effort to do it. If you really can’t do whatever it is that you need done, find someone who can do it. That’s right..delegate it and keep moving. This way you can focus and celebrate those skill sets that you have mastered. This will actually add to your happiness and increase your quality of life. People who practice self mastery focus on their strengths versus wallowing in their weaknesses.
Saying I Should ____ — Have you ever heard that it’s important not to “should” all over everyone? Not only is it a bad idea to create “should” for others it’s a terrible idea to create them for yourself. Regrets can literally suck the life blood out of your brain. Be wise, don’t engage.
In the Past ___ — Dwelling on the past and what someone did to you in the past or what things were like in the past is not going to help you overcome self-sabotage. As a matter of fact, one of the quickest ways of getting yourself stuck is by dwelling on the past. When people try to remind of the past, I gingerly change the subject. I don’t care how awesome or terrible it was. I’m determined to move forward and you should be too. While it’s okay to use the past as a learning experience, it’s not okay to use it as an excuse not to move forward. Remember you are only in charge of yourself and today. That is all.
In the Future ____ — Just like you do not want to focus on the past you also don’t want to be overly focused on the future. Today is honestly all you have for sure. Focus on today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
If I Was More Like Them – OMG. This little bugger is one of the sneakiest of them all. Never compare yourself to someone else in a negative or positive way. As soon as those thoughts start flying your way, take cover! It’s okay to celebrate what someone has accomplished, learn how to do it too, and follow their footsteps but don’t wish yourself away. Only you can be you. Remember, everyone else is taken.
Whenever you find you’re focused on a negative aspect of any situation, try to turn your mind around to focus on the positives. However, sometimes in life you’re going to experience a sad or negative time, that’s normal. It really is not about the ups and downs of life. Those are natural. It’s about how you comport yourself the rest of the time that truly leads to more happiness and putting those self sabotaging thoughts where they belong, under your feet!
All the best,
Elaine