There is most definitely a link between self-sabotaging thoughts and personal happiness. Today we will discuss some prevalent self-sabotaging ideas that you may or may not have been engaging in over the years that might have gone undetected until now.
But first, let’s define what self-sabotaging thoughts are. According to Psychology Today,
Behavior is considered self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.
When we have recurring self-sabotaging thoughts ingrained in our nature, they almost become a part of who we are. Unless we become aware of these thought patterns and the damage they are causing, we can never break free to enjoy happiness.
Who doesn’t go through times when you have trouble getting your thoughts to align with yours? Intentions. However, When this happens continually, it can hinder your happiness. It can get in the way of your joy because these thoughts are uber-focused on what’s wrong, missing, or the negativity of any situation instead of the potential positives.
Self-sabotaging thoughts can cause you to get stuck and not move forward, achieving your goals, living your desired life, and ultimately delaying real happiness and contentment.
Everyday Self-Sabotaging Thoughts That Can Hinder Your Happiness:
I Don’t Like People – Many people, especially nowadays with the onslaught of social media, tend to focus their decisions on how many people will be around. They tend to make decisions that are not good for them because they are not comfortable being who they are, how they look, or how successful they are. Instead of being so self-focused, you can begin to turn those thoughts around by showing up with a mindset of what you can offer others. Focus on how you can give of yourself. It’s okay to be who you are. Life is not a competition; it’s collaboration. Once you begin to re-frame your thoughts in this direction, you will help others and grow into the beautiful person you are.
I Am Too ____ — Anytime you start a thought with, I am “too,” anything you are about to get into serious head trouble. Nowadays, most people are so self-absorbed. Why waste time and energy worrying about things no one else ever thinks about? For example, if you find yourself saying you’re too fat, too dumb, too old, too shy, too something — to accomplish a goal. Just stop it! Divert that negative mental energy into a step-by-step plan to get you closer to your goals. For example, if you think you’re too fat, try to focus and devise a plan to slim down. If you feel too old, develop a plan and take steps toward wellness. You can’t change your biological age, but you can change your biological age by making healthier lifestyle choices. Are you beginning to see how this works? Focus on what you can change and learn to accept what you can’t. Start getting yourself, that’s right, who you are today and who you are becoming by implementing your step-by-step plan.
I’ll Do That When I ______ — You’ve probably said it before to yourself. “I’ll do that when I go back to school.” “I’ll do that when I clean the house.” “I’ll do that when I lose weight.” You know the drill. This is procrastination, plain and simple. Don’t allow that to get in your way unless you need to do the thing in the blank. If you do need to do it, make a step-by-step plan to get it done. Otherwise, keep moving forward. Refuse those self-sabotaging thoughts to create a chain around your feet.
I Can’t Do _____ — This is one of the most popular self-sabotaging thoughts we are all too familiar with. We might not have realized the impact of constantly hearing ourselves say to ourselves…” I can’t,” which might affect our level of happiness. You may have listened to your child, yourself, or someone else state, “I can’t do math.” Or “I can’t cook.” The truth is, no one can do that without learning how to do it. No one pops out of the womb knowing how to cook, write, read, or do math. Anyone can learn whatever they want, given the time and effort. If you can’t do whatever you need to be done, find someone who can do it. That’s right..delegate it and keep moving. This way, you can focus and celebrate those skill sets that you have mastered. This will add to your happiness and increase your quality of life. People who practice self-mastery concentrate on their strengths versus wallowing in their weaknesses.
Saying I Should ____ — Have you ever heard that it’s important not to “should” all over everyone? Not only is it a bad idea to create “should” for others, but it’s also a terrible idea to make them for yourself. Regrets can suck the lifeblood out of your brain. Be wise, don’t engage.
In the Past, ___ — Dwelling on the Past and what someone did to you or what things were like will not help you overcome self-sabotage. One quickest way to get stuck is by dwelling on the Past. I gingerly change the subject when people try to remember the Past. I don’t care how awesome or terrible it was. I’m determined to move forward, and you should be too. While it’s okay to use the Past as a learning experience, it’s not okay to use it as an excuse not to move forward. Remember you are only in charge of yourself and today. That is all.
In the Future ____ — Just like you do not want to focus on the Past, you don’t want to be overly focused on the future. Today is honestly all you have, for sure. Focus on today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.
Suppose I Was More Like Them – OMG. This little bugger is one of the sneakiest of them all. Never compare yourself to someone else negatively or positively. As soon as those thoughts start flying your way, take cover! It’s okay to celebrate what someone has accomplished, learn how to do it too, and follow in their footsteps but don’t wish yourself away. Only you can be you. Remember, everyone else is taken.
Whenever you’re in a negative aspect of any situation, try to turn your mind around to focus on the positives. However, sometimes in life, you’ll experience a sad or damaging time; that’s nothat’sIt is not about the ups and downs of life. Those are natural. It’s about you comporting yourself the rest of the time, which leads to more happiness and putting those self-sabotaging thoughts where they belong, under your feet!
All the best,
Elaine