“When I hear somebody say ‘Life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask ‘Compared to what?’” Sydney J. Harris.

We all know by now life can be hard, but could you be possibly making it harder than it needs to be without being fully aware?  There is always so much going on in and around us that it’s easy to become overwhelmed, frustrated, and confused. But, sometimes life is hard because we are making it that way ourselves. 

We, humans, are funny creatures. 

When circumstances and events are challenging, sometimes we subconsciously make them more challenging just to feel a sense of control. We think we have to sweat and struggle to feel some sense of reward after we achieved the goal. This can be a great strategy in times of difficulty because it helps us to get through to the other side. But if you are not careful, you can become addicted to “the struggle”. This mindset can become a problem if we apply it to everything. Not everything in life requires Herculean strength. 

Chances are you could be making your life harder than it has to be. If you think you or a loved one might be making life harder than it needs to be, read on.

Here are 6 ways you could be making life harder than it has to be:

You Haven’t Developed Your Intuition

Intuition is that small voice on the inside of you that can lead you in the way that you should go and encourages you to be your true self. Instead of honing in and sharpening your ability to hear and trust that intuition, you listen to every outside voice that comes your way. The reason why this can make your life harder is that everybody has an opinion about what you should do and who you should be in the world. It can get quite confusing and lead to inaction and frustration. While it is a good idea to consider other well-intended voices, make sure that they are lining up with your vision and core values. Don’t expect others to give you the answers that you should give yourself.

You are Judgmental

Instead of minding your business and loving and praying for others, you have an opinion about everything and everybody. If someone looks or acts differently than you, you have a thought or a comment. One of the major problems with judgementalism is that it grows the more you operate in it. People around you can see your high looks and sense your displeasure. It pushes the very people that you say you want to help away because this attitude stinks up the room. It sends the message you are better than them and that they are inferior or not “good” enough. If that’s not bad enough, those closest to you catch this same unhealthy attitude. We are all on a journey. If you sense that you struggle with judgementalism, think about how it feels to be unfairly judged. This elevated thinking will help you to rise above this childish attitude. You can start to give people the benefit of the doubt because you have no idea what they have been through. 

You Think That Someone is Out to Get You

Most of the time people don’t mean to inconvenience you or make your life harder. The person who cut you off in traffic was in a hurry. Your significant other didn’t talk to you as much this morning because they were tired, not because of anything you did.

If we decide the world is out to get us, we make life harder than it has to be. Be very slow to ascribe malicious intent. It usually just makes you angry and unpleasant. The truth behind someone’s intentions is usually far from malicious and often not personal at all.

You Have Unreasonable Expectations 

One of the things we can control in life is our expectations. That doesn’t mean that we should go through life without positive expectations. It just means while positive thinking is important, life doesn’t always hand you a bouquet of flowers. Therefore, in spite of all of our happy thoughts, we can’t expect to always be happy. That is unreasonable. When difficult circumstances come our way, we can choose to focus on the good. 

You Are Petrified of Taking Risks

As humans, we are risk-averse by nature. We don’t want to run into danger unless we know we can get out of it. However, our bubble of comfort can often become a prison. Sometimes we need to risk a little social rejection, loss of money, and loss of time in order to make our lives a little better. When we spend most of our time avoiding risks, we make life harder than it has to be.

I’m not suggesting that you run into traffic. Take smart, calculated risks! Think of an area in your life you’d like to expand upon and set some short terms goals. Once you’ve challenged yourself and become comfortable again, set some higher goals!

You Constantly Compare Yourself to Others

One of the most toxic things about modern social media is that it provokes us to constantly compare ourselves to others. Even worse, we compare ourselves to others in only their best moments. It’s easy for life to look glamorous on Instagram because you don’t see what happens when the camera turns off.

Bear in mind, there will always be someone with more money, more friends, or whatever else than you. Their life should not concern you! The only person you should compare yourself to is the version of you from the past. Look how far you’ve come and celebrate!

Life can actually get easier when we learn to embrace the wisdom of the journey, stop taking ourselves so seriously, let go of what we can’t control, and enjoy the here and the now. Learn to embrace your own sweet journey instead of being hyper-critical of others. Sure challenges will arise, but determine ahead of time how much of your energy and time you want to devote to it. Keep in mind that all challenges are not created equal. Some require only minimal effort. 

So, stop making life harder than it needs to be and go have some fun!

Be well + prosper,

Elaine xx