I will be the first to admit that mentally strong people are a distinct group. We all want to claim mental toughness, but like most character attributes, mental toughness is a muscle that must be exercised to grow strong.
We all know the verse from that popular song: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That’s not entirely true either. To gain mental toughness from life’s experiences, we must choose the correct response in the moment. Only then do we achieve mental toughness and join the ranks of those who have powered through life’s circumstances and are determined to get to the other side.
Please read on and find out where you stand when it comes to mental strength. But also remember that some habits can be developed to develop mental toughness once you discover where you are on the spectrum.
If you are a mentally strong person:
- You are very self-aware: I like to start with self-awareness because it is the place to start. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of mental toughness. According to psychologist and author Sherrie Campbell:
“Self-awareness is the ability to monitor one’s emotions and reactions.”
That sure sounds like mental toughness to me!
- You make decisions based on your value system: First, mentally strong people have developed a value system that they live by. If something doesn’t resonate with the values that they hold dear, they’re not afraid to go in another direction. In other words, their priorities line up with their beliefs. This gives them the courage to make the unpopular choice.
- You are confident: Self-confidence is the ability to believe in yourself. Contrary to popular belief, confidence is a skill that can be developed over time. Yes, some people are naturally more confident than others. But mentally strong people work to increase their confidence. Their inner confidence radiates outward and inspires others.
- You are resilient: Resilience is simply the ability to get back up when you fall. Everybody who is out trying to live this life will fail at something at some point in time. Mentally strong people know this. They don’t see failure as the final. They garner the strength to back up and fight for what they want another day. They see failure as an opportunity to grow wiser or learn something new.
Rather than throwing a huge pity party, mentally strong people focus on growing from their failures, accepting responsibilities, and getting right back up!
- You can see the bigger picture: Mentally strong people have a knack for being visionaries. They don’t get caught up in minutia because they can see and focus on the big picture.
- You don’t dwell on the past or worry endlessly about the future: Mentally strong people place their energy and focus on the present moment. They don’t dwell on the things that can’t change, like the past. Instead, they do what they can now instead of wasting their energy on what might never happen. They work while it’s day.
- You crush toxicity in people: Mentally strong people don’t waste time getting distracted by the drama of toxic people. Instead, they are masters at crushing the toxicity when they see it. They have a way of crushing the toxicity, not the person. Dealing with difficult people can be frustrating and exhausting. However, it can’t always be avoided. Mentally strong people are masters at putting toxic people in their place and moving right along. They know precisely how to avoid being brought low by poisonous people.
- You are a problem solver: Mentally strong people tend to be solution-focused rather than problem-focused. They have developed great problem-solving skills over time. They are masters at getting around the hurdles rather than focusing on the actual hurdles. When mentally strong people voice their problems, it’s not because they are complaining; they are verbally searching for solutions. There is a vast difference.
- They live authentically and create their own definition of success. Mentally strong people find it very easy to celebrate others’ success. They recognize that success is not a universal concept. They know how to curate their lives and their version of success, and they focus on it. Another person’s success doesn’t diminish theirs. This is why they feel sheer joy when others succeed.
- You exercise and prioritize wellness: Mentally strong people don’t necessarily exercise because they are mentally strong. They recognize that challenging themselves with exercise builds mental strength. Regular exercise creates a ripple effect by increasing physical, cognitive, and social competence; it increases confidence. Confidence (as noted above) creates mental toughness.
For mentally strong people, self-care and wellness are not a luxury; they are necessities. Exercise is a massive part of our well-being, and they embrace this.
- You value who you are (and are becoming) more than what you achieve: Mentally strong people are not defined by their achievements. They recognize and celebrate their accomplishments but realize their value lies in who they are, not what they have.
- You know that true success is worth the wait. Mentally strong people are patient when it comes to success. They recognize that patience only strengthens their minds even more. They know the desired outcome is highly likely if they stay patient, commit to the process, and keep the course. They will eventually receive the fruits of their labor.
There are many other attributes of mentally strong people. Start where you are today, develop some of these attributes, and you will be well on your way to being mentally strong!
X O Elaine