I will be the first to admit that mentally strong people are a group that are set apart from the pack. We all want to claim mental toughness, but the truth is like most character attributes, mental toughness is a muscle that must be exercised in order for it to grow strong.
We all know the verse from that popular song: “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. That’s not completely true either. In order to gain mental toughness from life’s experiences, we must choose the right response in the moment. Then and only then do we gain the mental toughness and join the ranks of those who have powered through life’s circumstances determined to get to the other side.
Read on and discover where you stand when it comes to being mentally strong. But also remember there are habits that can be put in place to develop mental toughness, once you discover where you are on the spectrum.
If you are a mentally strong person:
- You are very self aware: I like to start with self awareness because it is the place to start. I believe that self awareness is the cornerstone of mental toughness. According to psychologist and author Sherrie Campbell:
“Self-awareness is the ability to monitor one’s own emotions and reactions.”
That sure sounds like mental toughness to me!
- You make decisions based on your value system: First of all, mentally strong people have developed a value system that they live by. If something doesn’t resonate with the values that they hold dear, they’re not afraid to go in another direction. In other words, their priorities line up with their beliefs. This gives them the courage to make the unpopular choice.
- You are confident: Self confidence is the ability to believe in yourself. Contrary to popular belief, confidence is a skill that can be developed over time. Yes, some people are naturally more confident that others. But mentally strong people work to increase their confidence. Their inner confidence radiates outward and inspires others.
- You are resilient: Resilience is simply the ability to get back up when you fall. Everybody who is out trying to live this life will fail at something at some point in time. Mentally strong people know this. They don’t see failure as the final. The garner the strength to get right back up and fight for what they want another day. They actually see failure as an opportunity to grow wiser, or simply learn something new.
Rather than throw a huge pity party, mentally strong people, focus on growing from their failures, accepting responsibilities and right back up!
- You can see the bigger picture: Mentally strong people have a knack for being visionaries. Because they can see and focus on the big picture, they don’t get caught up in minutia.
- You don’t dwell on the past or worry endlessly about the future: Mentally strong people placed their energy and focus on the present moment. They don’t dwell on the things that can’t change, like the past. Instead they do what they can in the moment. Instead of wasting their energy on what might never happen. They work while it’s day.
- You crush toxicity in people: Mentally strong people don’t waste time getting distracted by the drama of toxic people. Instead the are masters at crushing the toxicity when they see it. They have a way of crushing the toxicity, not the person. Dealing with difficult people can be frustrating and exhausting. However, it can’t always be avoided. Mentally strong people are masters at putting toxic people in there place and moving right along. They know exactly how to avoid being brought low by toxic people.
- You are a problem solver: Mentally strong people tend to be solution focused rather than problem focused. They have developed great problem solving skills over time. They are masters at getting around the hurdles rather than focusing on the actual hurdles. When mentality strong voice their problems; it’s not because they are complaining, they are verbally searching for solutions. There is a huge difference.
- They live authentically and create their own definition of success: It’s very easy for mentally strong people to celebrate others success. Why because, they recognize that success is not a universal concept. They know how to curate their life and their version of success and they focus on it. Another person’s success doesn’t diminish theirs. This is why they feel sheer joy when others succeed.
- You exercise and prioritize wellness: Mentally strong people don’t necessarily exercise because they are mentally strong. They recognize that challenging themselves with exercise actually builds mentally strength. Consistent exercise creates a ripple effect by increasing physical, mental and social competence; it increases confidence. Confidence (as noted above) creates mental toughness.
For mentally strong people self care and wellness is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Exercise is a huge part of our well being. Mentally strong people embrace this.
- You value who you are (and are becoming) more than what you achieve: Mentally strong people are not defined by their achievements. They recognized and celebrate their achievements, but they realize that the true value lies in who they are, not in what they have.
- You know that true success is worth the wait: Mentally strong people are patient when it comes to success. They recognize that patience only strengthens your mind even more. They know that if they stay patient, commit to the process and stay the course, the desired outcome is highly likely. They will eventually receive the fruits of their labor.
There are many other attributes of mentally strong people. Start where you are today. Develop some of these attributes and you will be well on your way towards being mentally strong!
X O Elaine